you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
