i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
