You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
She told me I should be a condom model.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Randomize
