how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
