Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Randomize
