my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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