You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
