Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
