We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize