Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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