just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
ugly people sure do ruin things
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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