I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I need water and some morals
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize