hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
