You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize