I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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