Where did you get a picture of my penis
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
