If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Randomize
