I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
3 2 1 whiskey
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
