# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize