My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
