i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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