Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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