Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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