pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
