nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
So squirting runs in the family.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
