What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
