i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
