i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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