used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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