her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
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