Screwed.edu
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
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