I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
My butt remains clenched, sir.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
