Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
false alarm, still single
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
