Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
