Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
