i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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