By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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