Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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