i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Randomize
