Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
