Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Green mimosas i think yes
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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