oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
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