im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
