omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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