maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize