I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Randomize
