If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
