the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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