hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
