Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
