absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
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