My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize