filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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