Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
