His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
