she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
