matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize