her vagine was all disorganized.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Randomize
